The Flight of the Rocketman

"Wangs, there will be a day in the future where you will look back on these days of penniless existence and say those were the best times of my life! Then you will laugh and smile about it. Of course it sucks right now but it's really intended that way to make reminiscing so much more sweeter. So though you feel tied and bound, can't do the things you want, etc. Just keep the good fight cause the harder you try to free yourself the better you get at it. And believe me you will need those tricks to untie yourself over and over again because it seems life has an inexhaustible supply of ropes." -- texted to me by Anne Rodriguez

On the eve of my birthday, I find myself staring at an existential sort of contemplation. In the middle of work, on a hot Sunday afternoon with only 2 and half hours of sleep and a very long day ahead; I watch as things burn.

It always returns to fire. Fire cleanses the land, strips it so that water comes to heal it and start things anew.

It was my first time ever to ride a fire truck. It was my first time to head towards a fire. I realise now the insane sense of nobility that firemen have, to rush headlong towards the thing that people rush away from. Where people run because of fire's unending hunger and its dire need to consume, a fire fighter heads towards it with the goal to end its wrath. They save lives and they save things.

I watched them from the top of their fire truck as they look at each other, eyes hollow, faces blank and darkened with ash. Four firemen have just come back from battling the red beast and they just sit while firemen from other brigades take their turn. They just sit there. And what is it that I imagine them thinking? I imagine thinking I couldn't bring it down to its knees, I didn't stop it, someone could be killed, things are being destroyed. I am not good enough. But I watch them sit there, looking defeated and think, such noble and honourable people; to stare danger and death straight in the face and say 'I must help my fellow man.'

And this isn't bullshit either because they are all volunteer fire fighters. They receive no compensation whatsoever for what they do. They do this because they want to. These are people with regular jobs, families and friends. These are people with lives like us; except that they spend a lot of their free time training to fight fires. And they rush into the dangers, save lives, and are real life heroes a minimum of 200 times a year.

And they don't want anything in return. They just want that good feeling that comes inside when they do this thing. It's amazing.

It is truly inspiring.

And there I was, standing on the top of a fire truck and watch all these people running around; some women crying, faces black with ash and soot while I saw another walking around with a large pink back pack and a coffee-maker. One boy not older than 15 was carrying a huge 24 inch television. A woman sat in the street with a plastic bag filled with clothes, un-ironed and a little black bag. The things that people pick up; the first thing on their minds or in a state of panic, grab that which was easy to bring. I saw one man walking around with a gash, a wound in his arm and teary-eyed, holding above his head a bicycle. With all that chaos surrounding him, he saved his bicycle. Another man had saved his dog and since it had no leash, he had to hold on to it.

I've always wondered what I would do if I were to find myself in that situation. What do I save? My CDs or my books? Those are the only two things I've collected that would cost me much pain if I were to lose it. How could I ever get those individual pieces back? It would just be too much to put it back together. It would be the death of me.

But then, watching all those people running, crying, holding on to coffee makers and rice dispensers; I wondered, there really would be no question. I'd grab whatever I can get with my two hands and just run. Life is precious, after all.

There are people out there who risk their lives everyday for people they barely know. They do it because they know that it is good and doing good makes them feel good. My friends took care of me last Saturday. I didn't spend for anything as they brought me out to dinner, watched a concert and went dancing. They were very loving and treated me with great tenderness. I was flooded with affection. There are no other like them...

Cds and books? Yeah, they are an important part of my life. But so is my life and the memories that come with it. All things are transient. It only depends on how much value we decide to give to them.

I was watching things burn today but I also learned how to put the fires out.