The Flight of the Rocketman

What's so great about the truth? Try lying for a change - it's the currency of the world. -- Closer, written by Patrick Marber and directed by Mike Nichols

Sometimes I am faced with something that I want but should not have, for certain reasons but I can have it if I pushed hard enough. It's a moral question, really. Should I go for it, when socially, it would be deemed as wrong? Is it my problem? Should I even think about the moral questions?

The thing is, I've always believed in living my life the way I want. Freedom denotes that I can do whatever I want as long as I remember the cardinal rule about it. Your freedoms end when someone else's begins, or something like that. I can do whatever I want as long as I don't hurt anybody else or do any action that would impede on another's freedom.

And by forcing my way to getting what I want, I feel, someone's gonna get hurt in the process. God! Things are just never easy, huh?

It's like that whole concept of the white lie. Sure, it spares people from the hurt and it seems like a merciful thing to do but in the long run, it is still a lie. I can't deal with that. I've never made distinctions between white lies and lies. There is no difference for me. A lie is a lie. Period. No exceptions. Yeah, it saved your ass and yeah, it also spared a particular someone the hurt and pain of the truth but at the end of the day, it is still a lie.

I have a weird hang up with the truth, I don't know why. I guess it is something inculcated in me as a child by my parents who wanted to always be told the truth. I can deal with the truth, I can't deal with a lie my Mom would say. I believe that. I can handle the truth and if that means you don't like me or you can't stand me or there is something that needs to be changed, then let me know. It's really better that way. And yes, I know I'm sensitive and I can be a drama queen; but better to let me know the truth. I will respect you more that way.

I'm currently lost in transition again and this is bothersome. It really gets in the way of the decision-making. When I'm lost in transition, it makes everything so complicated because I don't know who I want to be at the end of the transition period. All the choices don't make any sense at the moment because you don't know what end result you want to achieve.

*Sigh*