The Flight of the Rocketman

I get up... I walk... I fall. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. -- Hillel the Elder

Today, I went on a trial hosting gig for GMA's show Fanatxt. I did a red carpet show where I interviewed the new graduates of the GMA Artist Center's Acting Workshop for Film and Television as they came out of their BMWs to the theatre where their first movie "Kilig... Pintig... Yanig" was shown.

I hated the parts where I had to do the spiels. People were watching and wondering who the hell I was which got me really conscious. My spiel was in Filipino which made things worse because I don't speak it well. I kept getting nervous and conscious and flubbing my lines and I was so conscious of my lips because they get so, so, so tense when I'm in front of the camera.

But when I was beside a star and I was interviewing them, that was great. I knew it wasn't about me. It was about them. So I could relax, I wasn't the one in focus. It felt good. That part I liked.

I am hoping that maybe the trial run would be seen favorably and they might consider me for future hosting stuff. I miss being on television.

Getting the urge to write something but I keep saying that and not really doing anything about it. I suck. I wish I could just get my ass off and start writing like I said I want to.

Wanting to write and actually facing your fears to sit down and face up to the challenge are really two different things. I gotta learn to stop being afraid. Stop being so self-conscious. It's really getting in the way...