The Flight of the Rocketman

To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with Spring. -- George Santayana

My back is killing me. There is a pain, a pressing point pain on my back, right beside my left shoulder blade. And we had a studio shoot and it was so cold that it just aggravated the pain. All of a sudden, things like laughing was just so painful. Taking things for granted again. Always helps to feel a little pain to remind you of what you got.

There is a house near my work that has 5 rooms and my friends are inviting me to join them in renting the place. And the rent would be at least 1/5 the price I'm paying for my studio unit right now. It's a hell of a lot to think of.

I think about the 10,000 pesos I spend on rent alone. In the past 7 months that I've been living alone and paying for my own way, I realised that I made 70,000 pesos and I never got to enjoy that money. That's a downpayment of a car! Or I could've bought myself that God damned laptop! And nowadays, I don't really live at home. I usually go home just to change. I sleep there twice or thrice a week.

But the convenience, the privacy, the intimacy, the solitude; these are the things I will be looking for. As much as I love my friends, I just know they will drive me insane. I haven't really lived harmoniously with others for a long while now. I'm so used to living alone. I'm so used to having my own space, allowing me to do whatever I please and live in whatever conditions I choose for myself.

But the savings I could make. And the convenience of living close to my friends. Instead of having to go to the far corners of this city to meet up with them, they're already there. And the savings, really, cannot be discounted. It would really help me right now that money is tight.

But I wonder how quickly the novelty of seeing my friends everyday would last... Soon enough, I'm sure we'll be driving each other nuts. And the loss of my privacy. There would be very, very little secrets left. Not that I have much to keep. But I would like that option available, right?

It's freedom. Freedom is having all the choices in the world. But when the choices, the options are taking away from you, so is your freedom. Can I handle that?

Can they handle my music playing loudly 24-7? Can they handle my pacing? My dancing? Can they handle listening to one of my new CDs everyday for the next two weeks? I can get pretty obsessive, you know.

But the savings. I really have to think this through... Isn't it time to be practical?