The Flight of the Rocketman

All I've done, I've done for me
All you gave, you gave for free
I gave nothing in return
And there's little left of me

All the days of my life
All the days of my life
All the days I owe you
-- Days, written and performed by David Bowie

Something for me to ponder: how can I possibly achieve all that I want in my life if I won't learn to sacrifice some of the things that I love to do to buy me some time to do the things I want?

Honestly, with my busy schedule, when will I ever get to study the piano and guitar? When will I have the time to study Mandarin or Spanish? When will I have the time to write that novel in my head? Those scripts?

I won't have the time because whatever time I have, I spend listening to music, dreaming up of more possible achievements for myself. I spend all my free time with my friends, my better half and that tiny, tiny left I give to my family? And only if they ask for it. (I am so selfish)

And the problem is that I love doing these things. It helps me feel complete. It helps me feel like I'm living my life. Those moments of introspection and learning.

But the truth is, I'm merely learning. There isn't much application involved.

And there is still so much I want to do. How do I resolve the two issues? Do I stop doing the things I love doing, to pursue the lessons and the activities that will help me achieve my greater want? Afterall, these things do not just manifest on their own.

And don't say anything about time management because I don't even have the discipline to clean my room on a weekly basis. It's not within my character. I can't plan that far ahead without an impulsive action tearing that ordered structure to pieces.

It's really trying to prioritize my life. Making certain decisions, amputating routines, removing certain expectations.

I have to make some sort of decision. Do I stop dreaming so big to accommodate the way of life I am sort of enjoying now or do I continue to be true to my desire for greatness and letting go of the little things that seem to be interfering its achievement (despite how much I love those little bumps on the road)?

This is really what I have to ponder: how badly do I want to achieve greatness? What am I willing to sacrifice for it?

It's a lot to think about.