The Flight of the Rocketman

One word frees us from all the weight and pain in life. That word is love. -- Sophocles

I've really changed. I am no longer a "going-out" kind of person. I can't handle it. I don't know what to do in those sort of situations. Before, I would rise to the occasion, now I just find myself bored out of my mind. I don't really enjoy hanging around in a crowded, noisy bar drinking over-priced beer and looking around and shouting at each other just so that your friend can hear what you are saying.

I used to love doing that. I was so into the whole see and be seen scene. But I can't do that anymore. I still enjoy dancing and getting lost in the dancefloor of some strobe lit club but unless that's what we are doing, I can't seem to properly enjoy a good night out anymore.

I really prefer hanging out with people where we can hear each other speak and the drinks aren't so expensive and you can have decent conversations. I also like the idea that you don't have to dress up and look your best; that you can just be in the clothes you were wearing at work, with a bag slung around you and meet up. I can't handle the pressure of having to look my best because I'm going out.

Side note: I always try to look my best, though even if I am just going to work. I'm such a glory hound that I can't stand not looking my best in public. But the degree has changed now and if I don't feel in the mood to be attractive, I couldn't really give a damn. But my vanity stops me from going out if that were the case. I've really changed.

I am really more comfortable with the whole coffee shop experience and completely in love with the whole going home to someone's house and chilling experience. Those are the stuff I really love to do now.

And of course, when I do find myself forced to go out and mingle at the scene, I'm the weirdest person in the world. I feel like a fish who was taught how to fly and then thrown back into the watery depths again. The idea is strange for me. It seems vaguely familiar but completely out of my frame of reference.

I guess I now live in a new reality.

I just have to consider that maybe I am getting older and the fact that I did overdid it at one point. There was a time that I would be out 4 times a week. 4 times! All that alcohol consumed, songs danced to, and people I've met and have not heard from since. It's a strange thing to have made a home in one place and then to leave it and come again and not feel like home.

Ive really changed.

P.S.
Buy Abra Moore's album Everything Changed. It is so fucking good! I am so impressed with her musical growth. I bought her second album way back in its release, Strangest Places and found it good but not particularly monumental (though I do love the songs Happiness and Summer's Ending and the second song whose name escapes me at the moment). But this new album is surely a winner. Not one song is bad or mediocre and the instrumentation is to die for. It is a great album. Get it!