The Flight of the Rocketman

I have learnt the simple meaning of thy whispers in flowers and sunshine. Teach me to know thy words in pain and death. -- Rabindranath Tagore

I found myself watching a DVD of Sarah McLachlan's performance for VH1's Storytellers. I'm a fan; for me to say that it was extraordinary would just be stating the obvious. I'm a subjective, biased fuck, so sue me.

But there is so much beauty in her songs and the way she sings them. In all the way she sings them; afterall, there are so many versions of any one song. There's the album version, then the different live versions and then the acoustic, stripped-down performances. In all the versions of every song of Sarah McLachlan that I've heard; she never fails to enchant me. I'm beguiled by her moving honesty, lyricism, musicality and insight.

I'm always moved by her.

I find myself longing once again to learn how to play the piano and the guitar and actually start putting the songs I've written to music. I haven't written a song in a while and there's just so much that I've been through lately that I've got to put it down. My experience in La Union is festering inside and the two short stories I've got in my head is waiting to burst. The trials and the joys of new-found love needs a voice (even though, I know, I have broached the topic so many times before). And my friendships and the inspiration I get from the many books, movies and songs that go through me everyday.

There's so much energy in this world and it has to be transformed to something solid, concrete and it must be communicated. That energy has to persist.

I'm so impressed by modern technology. How it was able to capture that energy from the Sarah McLachlan performance. Imagine if they were able to capture a Kate Bush concert? Joni Mitchell back in the 60s or even the first performances of drama during the time of Shakespeare? All that energy, that emotion, that honesty available within our fingertips?

I'm driven by this need to create again and I still have to do the daily grind and work to pay for the rent and the bills. I am not blaming my work. I love my work. I have to focus and allow myself less time for the little things and really concentrate on managing my time better.

I need this. I need this to work out for me. I need to get this out of my chest and explode.