The Flight of the Rocketman

Wisdom is oftentimes nearer when we stoop than when we soar. Often our defeats leave up wiser than our triumphs. -- William Wordsworth

And no matter how hard I try to avoid the world of love, I find myself always crashing deep down into it. There is really no escape. Is this a human thing? Or is this something that plagues only those who wish to travel the road of art?

I tried to find some peace with the idea that I am currently not in love with anybody and then I find myself caught in another ideal. I find myself comforted in the arms of another. I find myself staring into the eyes of someone new and this person makes me feel safe, loved. Sometimes I feel needed. I travel far to be with this person. And I don't know if I am completed or I complete the missing piece but there is this feeling of wholeness to this situation. It's strange.

I am constantly ragged on by wiser people to not fall so quickly. After all, not a full week has passed and how often have I seen this person? Not a lot... And yet, already, I know. And this is the same place I've been many times before and still I charged into it as if I don't have scars to bear. As if the scabs have already fallen away and healed; which is not the case.

But once again, I rush into the fray unafraid. I take the chances. It's all worth it.

Well we climbed that mountain and we got so high, and on the wings of an angel we took to the sky, out there on the ledge love dares us to try, baby, some people fall and some people fly. -- Some People Fall, Some People Fly, written by Matraca Berg and Randy Scruggs

And as much as I want to take this slow, I cannot. I find myself constantly drawn into the depths of danger. Everything in my body screams "Danger" and "Red Alert" and I continue to move on. It takes every bit of my being to stop, to restrain myself from saying what it is that I feel. I want to shout to the world that I have a love in my heart again. I want to shout to the world the name that makes me quiver.

And the world seems so exciting again and full of promise and hope. All of a sudden I don't have a cynical, jaded view to share. I just want to hold this person and let this person hold me and exude the sense of calm, peace and serenity in the embrace.

Once again, there is so much to lose; but as always, there is so much to gain. That is why I never hold back and why I always take chances. I don't remember what I've said before, but I guess, in this way, I am a gambler.

And I always gamble everything I've got. I'm not afraid. I want to tell this person how I feel but maybe it is not the time. I don't know. I really don't know...

There is no form and no manner of expression in regards to love that is not true or inappropriate. -- taken from Conversations with God

And so if I find myself within the walled city of my country's past and waiting, hungry and tired and without sleep in efforts to support this person's life, I'll do it. If I take the long journey to this person's home for the longed-for embrace and sweet kiss, why not?

There is no manner of expression that is inappropriate when it comes to love. How beautiful is that?