The Flight of the Rocketman

"Imagination," said Crake. "Men can imagine their own deaths, they can see them coming, and the mere thought of impending death acts like an aphrodisiac. A dog or a rabbit doesn't behave like that. Take birds -- in a lean season they cut down on the eggs, or they won't mate at all. They put their energy into staying alive themselves until times get better. But human beings hope they can stick their souls into someone else, some new version of themselves, and live on forever."

"As a species we're doomed by hope, then?"

"You could call it hope. That, or desperation."

"But we're doomed without hope, as well," said Jimmy.

"Only as individuals," said Crake cheerfully.
-- Oryx and Crake, Margaret Atwood

There's nothing like talking to someone, exchanging ideas and learning more and more about the world. Seeing through other people's eyes and seeing things you've never seen before. Or better yet, looking at something and realising that you've seen it before but now, you're seeing it differently, like for the first time.

With so many people in the world, how can you not want to take the risk and get to know somebody? Especially people who've travelled their world and seen so many different things? Things I might never get a chance to see. And so when someone offers me a chance to get to know them, to talk to them, I'll take it.

But of course, there are some people, who, after a couple of sentences have proven to be more of a nuisance than a subject of interest. Some people refuse to open their eyes and takes everything for granted. There are people out there who have nothing new to share about the world. The herd. I hate the herd.

There are some people who actually choose to become part of the herd but still keep a personal, individual point of view. If you can break down their barriers, prove that they have nothing to be cautious about when dealing with you, then you can pierce through the veneer and begin learning.

But some people aren't even worth it. They are too simple minded and closed to experience things and see thigns differently. Some people have chosen to let television and music and fashion and trends think for them and tell them how they should act. The herd. I hate the herd.

I've said before that I'd rather spend an hour talking to an asshole who has a world view than a good person who has none. There is a joke where people complain about a certain person but that person is always treated well because he or she is good-looking. Beauty is its own reward they say and is always deserving of forgiveness. Ha Ha Ha Funny joke.

But I've found the company of liars, thieves and prostitutes of more substance than many saints because they had to find some form of rationalisation to why they do the things they do. That level of introspection has earned them some level of depth. And it is that level that I seek in others.

Some people are disturbed by the arrogance of certain people because they are rich and proud and vain and self-centered, but if they have something sensible to say, I'm all ears and willing to listen. I won't fool myself into thinking they are nice, but I know enough to sit down and listen and try to learn. Rather than sit down with a priest and listen to the same spiel over and over again. The company may be more desirable, so to speak, but if I wanted a lecture, I'd rather go to my Mom. Or I'd read the bible. Thank you very much.

Depth. It's what I also want for myself and I try to find it in others. I'm not the kind of person who will suffer much. I am blessed with a family who loves me and will take care of me and catch me if I fall. Friends will do that for me too, I believe. And sometimes, pain and desperation leads to a level of depth, when you do not take things for granted. When you question everything.

And that's why I am so friendly at the beginning. That's why I am so interested at the start. Because I want to know what you've been through, what you are going through, where you've been and where you are going and how you plan to get there. These are the things that interest me.

That's what I am looking for in terms of connection...

And why I wrote all this down, I have no idea. This is apropos to nothing in particular and is no way a justification to any one person or any one particular situation. It just came out.

But I must say I am enjoying Oryx and Crake very much and the lines I got from the book are just fabulous, makes my head spin and wonder what the hell did Margaret Atwood have to go through to have the insight to write those fabulous sentences...