The Flight of the Rocketman

We must not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time. -- T.S. Eliot

Found myself going back to my old high school to give a career talk. I was suppose to inform the Senior class regarding choosing a career in the field of mass media.

How strange it is for me to go back, considering the fact that I never really enjoyed high school. All of a sudden, I found myself remembering little, insignificant details about my life that I wanted to forget. I felt pangs of nostalgia seeing my old teachers, good friends who have truly, in one way or another, shaped my personality.

I found it strange that on my Senior year in high school, we put together the first ever career and school orientation and almost 9 years later, I would be asked to come and participate in it, as a speaker, to be on the other end of the table. Considering the fact that my Dad went up and spoke about a career in the field of communications and mass media. How everything turns and how strange the cycles of life, eh...

There's a fine line between the things you want
And the things you have to do...
-- Leaving Las Vegas, Sheryl Crow

I made the mistake of talking about the amount of work you do when entering the career in the field of mass media and the amount of money you can gain from it if you work hard and you are good at what you do.

One student, a young senior, spoke up against my preoccupation with money and wanted to make a stand on helping others and about the serious side of communications. She didn't care about the entertainment value of the job but how it can help people.

I was struck with the idea of having been seen as greedy. My first instinct was to call her naive and foolish and that there was still a lot she had to know about life. Instead, I congratulated her and told her that I was happy to see someone who is not afraid to be straight-forward and that I applaude her for her intentions of being someone who wants to be helpful to society.

I apologised for the generalisation that I made that people their age would think of their career as just a means of making money.

I don't think of myself as greedy. If I was greedy, I could've taken an office job and made more money, I'm sure. Yes, I do make a lot when the projects come in. Yes, I can afford the lifestyle I have chosen for myself. But the real reason why I do the things I do is because I love what I do and not the money.

And I am not about helping people; I truly believe that people should help themselves. I want to create beautiful things, I want to create art. I want people to look at whatever work I do, be it a story, a poem, maybe a film and see something there that makes them value their humanity and life more. I want to provoke thought into people. I want them to see the world in a different way, give them more comparisons to make better judgements on the world.

This is what I want to do and, hopefully, get paid to do it so that I can also do things for myself.

Do I have to help people? I'm not sure if I have to. At the same time, I also don't know if I want to. After all, one must be descriminate when helping people. For all you know, the stranger you are helping out may be a criminal; may not have the best intentions in their hearts. And life is tough enough for me and my family. I am supposed to go out of my way to help a stranger?

No. I am not the Good Samaritan on the way home. I will help people I feel who are worth it based on my standards. Or I will promote change through my work, my creative output. I will try, at least. That's really how I can help, if I have to.

You must open your arms if you want to be embraced. -- Anonymous, as texted to me by my Dad

The full moon last night was gorgeous. The Chinese celebrate this Autumn Full Moon with a ceremony. This is when they start handing out the famous moon cakes. It is to celebrate family, love and good fortune.

I refuse to lose hope and I continue to believe in love. But I cannot spend time and effort on it. I am finally getting over the last heartbreak. I can make fun of it now and I find myself less and less affected by it as time goes by.

My arms are neither opened nor closed. They hang limply on my sides and will embrace the person who embraces me, if I do not find the person below my standards, that is... We must all have a standard.

I have been single for seven years. I can be single for seven years more, if I must. But I will not embrace just anybody. I am willing for it to happen. I can admit that I am hoping and even waiting for it to happen soon. But I will not just do it for the hell of it, just because I am lonely.

That's the worse thing to do at this point of time. It should be real. It's the only way that it would matter...