The Flight of the Rocketman

There's a garden in my room
Would you like to take a look?
There are fascinating things you'll find there
And if you dare to come inside
There is nothing I will hide
Come to where there is sweet perfume
In the Garden in my Room
-- The Garden, written and performed Merril Bainbridge

Here I am again; I can feel my body losing out to malnutrition, lack of sleep and overwork. My body is giving up on me. I remember the days when I'd only get sick once a year. Sometimes, my immune system would be so strong, I wouldn't get sick at all in the whole year. I'd have a chronic cold or cough, but never a fever. I'd only get a fever once a year, if ever...

And now, I can feel it coming, I'm getting sick again. And it really doesn't matter because I still have to work. I still have to get these scripts out and send them over to my bosses. I still have to churn out words and make sure they get to where they have to go. I've been sleeping really late and waking up prematurely because I need to make a living. This is the living I've chosen for myself.

I'm not really complaining. I'm pissed off that my body is giving out on me. Now that I've quit smoking, alcohol and drugs; that's when my body has decided to go weak! What is this? Should I go back to smoking and drinking? Is that actual fuel to the fire? Or because I was a smoker and a drinker, bacteria couldn't survive living in my body and that's why I wouldn't get sick?

Who knows? All I know is that my body is giving out on me and it is not fair!

I can't stop now because I want to buy my own computer. That would be bliss, really... To be able to buy my own computer. That's what I want. I hope I can achieve that before the year ends. Now that would be so cool.

Soon, after the computer and after all this work; I'll be able to afford a grand vacation. Just for myself. Maybe, just by myself and have a chance to disappear into some beach wonderland and just enjoy being with myself. Read again (I haven't picked up a book in weeks!) and have some fruit shakes while basking under sunlight. That would be bliss... Getting dark and just enjoying not thinking about work. Just enjoying knowing there's money in the bank and the rent will be paid and I have two weeks to not think about work and just enjoy the fury of the sun and the calming powers of the surf and tide.

Right now, that is what I am working for. And maybe a heater in the house and of course, my computer.