The Flight of the Rocketman

"There is just so much beauty in this world..." -- paraphrased line from American Beauty (screenplay by Allan Ball)

Amazing, really, when you consider the amount of blood the human body has and how much more it produces. I felt like I was spitting out gallons and gallons last Monday. Everytime I took out the gauze from my mouth to replace it, it was soaked to the last fiber. I replaced it and 30 minutes later, it was in the same state.

And of course, I haven't been eating well since I'm all alone with a partial kitchen. Haven't completed it yet, but at least I now have salt, pepper, garlic, olive oil, butter and sugar. Soon, I'll be able to start cooking. But because of my wound in my mouth, I can't eat hot food or solid foods. Been eating bananas and drinking a lot of water and milk. And yet, malnutritioned as I am, I still had enough blood to squirt out of my mouth.

The human body is just absolutely amazing.

But I'm a fast healer as well, surprisingly. I guess that is a natural gift of masochists. We are healers, constantly ready to face more pain -- anxiously waiting for it. That's life for you. Life has a habit of adapting to the way it is lived.
I bet I could survive a bullet wound to the brain. Shotgun round, I'm sure...

All of a sudden, I want to start all over. Tabula Rasa -- clean slate. Just want to start all over now that I'm wiser (and I'm not wiser just because I had two wisdom teeth pulled, aight?) and I have things in perspective. Change my number, disappear for 3 months (maybe go to the province and do some theatre and writing) and then change e-mail. Change everything. See what happens when I get back. What will happen when I get back?

I just feel like I have to start over. I don't know why. So many changes, so soon. Or as Billie Myers would sing:

Much change too soon

So many. I'm not catching up. Gotta catch up. Gotta start to run again. I've been out of the race for a while. I thought I was still in the race, just far behind. Apparently, I strayed from the tracks. I've been running lost. Gotta get back on the track. Gotta get back on the race.

Much change too soon... well, live fast, adapt faster. I'll make it. I know I will...