The Flight of the Rocketman

"... she decided she would stay there and wait until something significant happened to her. This was the challenge she was putting to existence -- she would not stir, not for dinner,not even for her mother calling her in. She would simply wait on the bridge, calm and obstinate, until events, real events, not her own fantasies, rose to her challenge, and dispelled her insignificance." -- Atonement, Ian McEwan

Hmm... I think I'm going back to my down slump. I've been enjoying life too much and my usual pendulum swing of moods is beginning to make its return swing to the area of darkness and blue. I don't want this to happen and it will take everything I have and know to not allow myself to go there.

I don't want to go there... Into that place of whining and complaining; where I make sour and biting remarks, not because it is funny, but because I really mean them. I hate playing the curmudgeon but what can I do? It's the part I play for half the year. The other half is played as the free-spirit where nothing can bring me down and nothing affects me. That part I like playing - all sunshine and moonlight, all clouds and bubbles and rainbows, flashy cars and shiny leather shoes and belt.

I sometimes feel like Persephone. Trapped in the bowels of hell for 6 months and then returned to the daylight for another 6 months. Of course, hell is not such an awful place. I'm sure the dead have interesting stories to tell. It can't possibly be the most fun place to be in; but it is most probably better than being stuck inside a box without windows or a door.

Now, where did I get that box from? Straight from the bowels of my subconscious, I guess...

I'm really in a foul mood and for no real reason, either... Mood swings. I hate `em.