The Flight of the Rocketman

I've been thinking
I've been thinking I've been thinking too much
I just want to live now for a little while
And cast my dreams to the wind
Don't wanna wonder
Don't wanna wonder what it's all about
-- Maryland, written and performed by Vonda Shepard

Everything has gone back to the same-old, same-old. Everybody is getting back to their old groove and everything is starting to go back into its clockwork routine. I've come back to Shanghai and after a day, everything has gone back to normal. But I've returned from Shanghai a different person.

All of a sudden, I've been in a city where things work, and people work hard and if you work hard, you can make it. I've met people who just upped and left for that city, not knowing a single word of Mandarin and have made it, adjusted to the world they live in and are making it, not just surviving, but thriving.

I realise now that I have options. I'm not stuck here. I don't have to make it here. I can be anywhere I want to be. I can be anyone I want to be. I don't have to remain in this city. There are so many progressive cities all over the world. It's not just Manila. And if it's my pride that I'm a Filipino that is holding me back, well, I can still be a Filipino working abroad and making it good abroad.

It doesn't necessarily mean I will leave. All it means is that I can go through this life knowing that I have the freedom to stand up and go when I don't like the things around me; that the grass is just as green in other fields. That I have options, I have choices. And that makes me less needy. It makes me less desperate.

Right now, I'm transient. I'm not home yet I'm not lost. I'm not attached yet I'm not completely distanced. I'm self-sufficient yet I'm still quite dependent. Any gorgeous, progressive city will entice me. And I will allow myself the joy and pleasure of the enticement. I'll see where my dreams will take me and go where the wind blows...