The Flight of the Rocketman

Fate determines who comes into our lives. The heart determines who stays... -- Anonymous, texted to me by my Dad

Funny, I love that line but I don't believe in fate. I believe in coincidences, chance, luck and personal effort, drive and will power. I believe that we make things happen and that nothing is predetermined. That happiness is at the palm of our hands. We twist events with the power of our wills; we make things happen by sheer determination. Our wants and wishes are actually messages that spring through the void and if we want something enough, we make it so.

I have to believe that. Otherwise, what's the point in moving forward? What's the point in wishing and dreaming and working hard for what we want if it was already predetermined.

It's my birthday! Happy birthday to me! Funny, actually. Last year, I texted everyone sending them a sentimental message about how much they mean to me and how important they are to my growth as a person. This year, I took the exact opposite route and decided to be low-key about it. I don't need much, this time, I'm happy already. I've found things that seem like they want to be kept. I've thrown away things that I've held onto for so long that was never really good for me. I'm working again - a productive member of society. I'm doing things I feel like I am good at. I get to share what I have and what I know. What more can I ask for?

And the people who have greeted me! The people who remember! It's amazing! People I have resented actually remember my birthday. It looks like that the events of the past must be re-examined to be able to properly see what truly transpired. But maybe it does not need perusal. I think, I'll let sleeping dogs lie and just move on. I no longer carry resentment and anger in my heart for them. It's just the story I tell but not the way my heart beats. No more. If I see them again, I'll be genuinely happy to see them.

Life is strange but good. Maybe it's just because I'm in a good state right now. I'm in a good place. For me, all things are right in the world again. Let this be the way things are for a long time. I don't want to be unhappy again. And like I said above, it's all up to me. It's going to be my choice.

I finished reading Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code and it is a fun book to read. Very interesting book, lots of great theories. I've never really been a devout Catholic so it didn't shake up my faith too much. My relationship with my Creator is personal and will never be dictated to me by any institution. I know I don't hurt anyone (intentionally, at least) and I don't ask anyone to hurt anybody else, so my life is pretty moral. What I do to my own body is my choice. So my relationship with my Creator is clear. I do the things I like and I try to be the best that I could be which is all I believe God wants me to do: to be happy. It's a great book and if you keep an open mind, it might strengthen your faith in your God. It's amazing. Books that really make you think are the ones that are worth reading. Oh, yeah... And the ones that make you laugh.

I bought the new Vienna Teng album Warm Strangers and it's lovely. It's not as good as the first album Waking Hour but it is good nonetheless... Get it just for Harbor. Beautiful song. I wish I could sing and play the piano because there is someone I would love to sing it to. Ha Ha Ha

And Afterglow has been well worth the wait. Sarah McLachlan has made a perfect album this time round. Not one dud on this album. Almost all the songs are gorgeous with simple yet beautiful melodies and gorgeous lyrics. Time is my favourite song and the lyrics are poetic. It's a real poem, actually, put to song. The songs Push and Answer are also my favourites but only because there is someone I want to sing these songs to. Ha Ha Ha

Yeah, I'm happy right now. I'm 25! I'm quarter of a century old. And you know what? I can't wait to keep going, to let the days roll by and see what I can do with this life I've been given. If anything, I don't want to be known as ungrateful. Time does not stop and will not stop and I will just keep going. I'll see how far I can push this mind, this body and this heart. I'll just keep going and doing the things I want and doing the things that will make me the best that I can be. It's all, I believe, God really intended for us anyway.