About Me
- Name: wanggo
- Location: Philippines
I'm one of the many modern, everyday gods trying to re-ascend into the heavens...
Links
- Indulgence
- Watching Things Burn
- The Proudest Monkey
- The Prothiaden Adventure
- Soloflite
- Uncharted Waters
- The World Through Chinky Eyes
- I Like It Here
- Kage's Travel Blog
- Risk It All
- Dating Kundiman (a bookshop)
- Candid Moments of Lucidity
- Calamansi (Cat's Blog)
- The World Is My Playground
- Den of Iniquity
Archives
- 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
- 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
- 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
- 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
- 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
- 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
- 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
- 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
- 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
- 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
- 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
- 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
- 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
- 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
- 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
- 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
- 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
"I think it's gonna be a long, long time, `till touchdown brings me round again to find, I'm not the man they think I am at home... I'm a rocketman, burning out his fuel out here alone..." Rocketman by Elton John and Bernie Taupin.
Monday, March 08, 2004
At one point, you feel like you understand what is going on in the world. You kind of understand the system and the inner workings. And then you live your life that way and figure that this is the best it will ever get; this is the best it can be. And you are satisfied with that. You play by the rules, try to break a few and move on.
And then one moment, just like that, everything changes. You do something that you don't normally do. You do something that is not within the system that you understand and you hit jackpot. I've joined raffles and contests and I never win. I've sat down and put my heart down on the line and never found anyone eager to pick it up (well, there have been some but people I am not quite interested in; I don't believe in relationships without reciprocation) and then, in a single brave move, I've crossed a line I dared not pass and found myself in a place I've never been.
It is strange to be happy. Very strange to be so involved with any one thing or person at one time. I know I've been this way before but not like this. Not in equal measure. Not in a fair manner. I've never got what I wanted. And now I'm getting it in abundance. And all I really had to do was make the first step.
Say I like getting chased, but nobody I wanted felt the need to chase me. I switched roles for one moment and BOOM! I'm happy. I'm still single but I'm loved. I'm needed. And, more importantly to me, at the moment, I'm wanted.
And all the others that have been hanging on a thread with me are slowly let go. Not filling any sort of missing part in me (not that there was any, really), they have become just friends. And if they wanted more... Well, I was not put on this Earth to make them happy.
I don't believe in fate or destiny. It's all chance and coincidences and the luck of the draw and I was at the right place, at the right time and willing to do something I don't normally do. And I came out the winner of the pot. Everything. All of it. And who knows? I might lose it again, lose all my winnings, lose everything... But at least, this time, I know I am in the game. I know what it takes to win. I'm not afraid. I'm not giving up. It can happen. And not because it was predetermined by a/the higher being; but because when the moment comes again, I know I can do what it takes to play.
And then one moment, just like that, everything changes. You do something that you don't normally do. You do something that is not within the system that you understand and you hit jackpot. I've joined raffles and contests and I never win. I've sat down and put my heart down on the line and never found anyone eager to pick it up (well, there have been some but people I am not quite interested in; I don't believe in relationships without reciprocation) and then, in a single brave move, I've crossed a line I dared not pass and found myself in a place I've never been.
It is strange to be happy. Very strange to be so involved with any one thing or person at one time. I know I've been this way before but not like this. Not in equal measure. Not in a fair manner. I've never got what I wanted. And now I'm getting it in abundance. And all I really had to do was make the first step.
Say I like getting chased, but nobody I wanted felt the need to chase me. I switched roles for one moment and BOOM! I'm happy. I'm still single but I'm loved. I'm needed. And, more importantly to me, at the moment, I'm wanted.
And all the others that have been hanging on a thread with me are slowly let go. Not filling any sort of missing part in me (not that there was any, really), they have become just friends. And if they wanted more... Well, I was not put on this Earth to make them happy.
I don't believe in fate or destiny. It's all chance and coincidences and the luck of the draw and I was at the right place, at the right time and willing to do something I don't normally do. And I came out the winner of the pot. Everything. All of it. And who knows? I might lose it again, lose all my winnings, lose everything... But at least, this time, I know I am in the game. I know what it takes to win. I'm not afraid. I'm not giving up. It can happen. And not because it was predetermined by a/the higher being; but because when the moment comes again, I know I can do what it takes to play.
