The Flight of the Rocketman

The days go by, things begin to taper off, sometimes I still don't know what to do with myself. I don't know what to write here or what I'm supposed to do. All of a sudden, for one tiny moment, I'm glad that I've got things to do for other people but that only lasts for a very short moment. There is just still so much that I want to do for myself. Time to think, to get everything in order.

I watched a great play last Saturday. Agnoia, by Lisa Magtoto and directed by Melvin Lee. It was really good. There were some things that needed tweaking and fixing but I was so amazed by the intelligence of the script and the understated way in which it makes its point. Several lives, cut up into tiny little scenes and nothing is underlined or made apparent. I love this play because it shows us so much and we must derive some sort of meaning from all this mess. It's truly wonderful. I'm glad I got to see it.

And then it was good to see my friends again after such a long time. I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder. Of course, old habits die hard but when they do die, they are quickly buried. I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. I haven't gone out in such a long time, I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I don't want to drink anymore, or at least, not as heavily as I used to. Dancing was all wrong, for the first time ever in my whole life. I guess it was just really strange.

Somethings just fall apart and you have to look. The most resilient of pieces remain whole and can easily be mended and returned. They are so big that you know exactly where it belongs. Some things shatter and can never be returned, too small to know exactly where it fits in your life. There are some things that just keep falling and falling and they lose their resilience. Once they fall, they no longer remain whole but shatter into tiny pieces. Of course, these are all metaphors for people. Some people you don't see for a long time and when you do find them again, you know exactly where they fit in your life. There are some people whose relationship keeps suffering from time to time and then, when it falls one last time, it cannot be fixed, the relationship cannot be healed.

It is a sad truth. But one of the most beautiful things in this world is letting go. In setting things free of obligation and responsibility, there is so much potential for regrowth, for regeneration. Everything heals. Letting go gives them that opportunity to heal. There is nothing that time does not work its magic on. And magic it is, how wonderful to let time pass and just make things go their natural way. And if it were never to return, what is it that they say? Then maybe it was not meant to be...

I don't believe in it. But it is undeniably poetic...

Survivor all-stars began today. Well, yesterday for America, but today here in the Philippines. And though you might think it is all mundane and banal; I love it. I love socio-politics. I love watching the behaviour of people in all sorts of conditions. And this is one of them - money, survival, competition, teamwork. All these various elements at play. It is a great thing to watch and see. It truly, truly inspires me to write more and more. I love Survivor. I wish I could join it. I really do...