The Flight of the Rocketman

Out of the sky came the lights out of the night out of the fear came the strength strength to live, live to love out of the sky came the lights light of life -- Lights of Life, written and performed by Donna Lewis

The Rocketman is looking at the great large expanse of oblivion. Oblivion isn't nothing or nothingness, really. Out here, there are stars, there are planets, cosmic fog. There are lights out here, bright flashing lights of coloured brilliance. But there is no sound. The vacuum refuses to let anything vibrate. No waves, no sound. Silence. That is oblivion. Oblivion is the feeling that no matter how far you reach out, how loud you scream, there is nothing there that you can touch, no one there that will hear. Oblivion is loneliness, a world without feeling.

I traverse this space now and know that it is much different to me than it was when I first began my journey. Something look so much bigger than when I first saw them and others look much smaller, much more insignificant.

Yesterday, I was at Megamall to visit an old friend. But it's strange because my friendship with Eena and Charley has to be defined to understand why it is that I was able to achieve the Elusive Bliss yesterday.

Eena and Charley where classmates of mine in a workshop I took on Movement in Bacolod back when I was still 13, almost 10 years ago. We spent a whole summer together and the five of us (with my cousins Yciar and Johanna) were pretty much the gang. We were all of the same age, and except for my cousin Jo, we were Manila people with Bacolod roots. We spent a whole summer together and worked hard on our studies and exercises and graduated as the second class of Movement ever from the Bacolod workshop.

When we returned to Manila, there was a lot of talk on calling each other up and stuff but we never got to do that. One phone call here and there and then soon, Eena left for the States and we never really got to see each other again. Then, once a year (sometimes once every two years) we'd e-mail each other and ask how the other is. One reply and none to follow.

Now I know she's back in Manila for a visit. So we talk and decide to meet up. And we do. Megamall, Seattle's Best, Sunday afternoon. I expected to talk casually for an hour or two and just talk about the good times back in the summer of so long ago or just a little quick update on what we are doing now. But once we saw each other, boom! That was it. We reverted back to our little 14-13-12 year old states and we just started catching up like there was no tomorrow. We were like childhood friends that lost touch for 8 years. I told her things I thought I would never really tell some people. We talked for almost 4 hours and a half! It was amazing!

And for that moment, I forgot the future, the past and was just so in touch with the present that I was so happy with myself. I touched the Elusive Bliss. Or actually, in that moment, the Elusive Bliss touched me, embraced me and I was not aware of it until I had to say good bye. It was then that I realised, it's dark now, so much time has passed, both in a physical sense and in a symbolic sense - that sense where 10 years has been condensed into stories that we've fed to each other.

Amazing. We could not let each other go. We just kept hugging and saying good bye and promises to see each other again. How lovely to be connected in such a way. To meet someone and know that this is forever. That time, distance and silence will never tear the two of you apart. I know that I may not speak to Eena and Charley again after January or February but I know that when we do see each other again, it will be great and fantastic and true. How wonderful to know that it is there.

And all of a sudden, I realise that no matter how far into space I'll fly. No matter how far into space I'll be travelling, I'll never be alone. Because there are always some people I'll be coming home to. Loved ones that will never let me go. And that will always remain in my heart.