"I think it's gonna be a long, long time, `till touchdown brings me round again to find, I'm not the man they think I am at home... I'm a rocketman, burning out his fuel out here alone..." Rocketman by Elton John and Bernie Taupin.

Thursday, December 25, 2003

How strange to be spending Christmas with a friend I've met only 2 weeks ago and waiting for friends to come over. My family is in Bacolod except for my brother and his wife. But they spent Christmas Eve with my sister-in-law's family. Tonight, they'll be spending it with us.

How funny to be spending Christmas and receiving great and fantastic gifts, messages of love and cheer and wanting to give it all up for just one thing. Someone's understanding. I still have so much to give. I still have so much to offer. I'm not yet exactly dried up.

I've been so preoccupied with other things lately. The biggest question in my life right now: to improve my life, I have to leave all that I've been working for for the past 3 or 4 years; the life I've led for the past 3 or 4 years. How does one find the strength to let go of that which he loves so much. It's not harming anyone but myself, this love. And so there seems no real reason to give it up.

Sometimes I think that I was built this way, this ability to give unconditional love, and so I must honour the way I was made. I should just keep on giving.

These are the things that are in my mind on Christmas day.

Merry Christmas to all of you and may you get all that you want from this day on.
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