The Flight of the Rocketman

Someday I'll fly/ Someday I'll soar/ Someday I'll be so damn much more/ Cause I'm biggerthan my body gives me credit for - Bigger than My Body by John Mayer

I must apologise for the previous entry. Yes, I was bleeding drunk. But yes, I will not remove it from the record. Afterall, the Rocketman was able to grasp the Elusive Bliss for one moment. It was one terribly long but enjoyable moment. And now I know what it feels like again, the way the Elusive Bliss can wrap you up in a single moment and you never want to leave, and the urge to try and raise it just a notch higher is ever-present; you know it isn't greed, it's just overwhelming and you lose control. It isn't chaos, it isn't temptation. It's bliss. That feeling that there is no other moment in the world than the one you are in. That single point where all your energy is totally focused at the moment and tomorrow won't matter as the days and hours and minutes before entering bliss won't matter either.

It's just you and the moment. That is a capacity of moments, it can be held, entered and eventually lost. A moment is something that is searched. We try so desperately to find it and once we find it, we enter it. We wear it like a new skin and we can't help but... smile, move, breathe heavier. Something. We do things magnified because we want to completely inhabit the moment. Or at least say that when we were in it, we did everything we could to cherish it.

Mandy Moore may have only sang 10 songs plus encore but she's still a wonderful person and a great singer. Her gratitude for the way the Filipinos have accepted her music, her movies and her appearance as a model for Penshoppe is not forgotten. I hope she will return and do a full concert. When Araneta colliseum, packed to the brim that it was ready to explode all sang together, as one voice, the lyrics of Only Hope and Cry. Now that was a moment. To be dancing to Joan Armatrading's Drop the Pilot and being the only person in the audience who has probably ever heard of Joan Armatrading and even knows the lyrics to the song. That realisation alone was a moment. So I wore the moment like a carapace. Like some moth, I took to flight. There was nothing better than banging my foot to the beat and singing the lyrics Drop the pilot, I'm no easy rider, don't use your army to fight a losing battle - animal, mineral, physical, spiritual: I'm the one you need! I'm the one you need!

That was so cool. And to take 3 beer bongs and dance to Dave Matthews Band and singing Tom Petty's Free Fallin' in Yaku with friends I have not seen in a long while. Or going to Bed and sending off those guys who were asking for my name. My name's Wanggo, now, please get off my dancing space may have come off as bitchy but I was in the moment and that moment wore a different kind of skin. It shimmered and it glowed and it was frictionless, so nothing could stick. Nothing stuck. I just danced the night away.

That was the nature of the situation. That is why I allowed myself to get drunk... So that I can reach the Elusive Bliss. I had it for a little while and then it was gone. Like all good things should, it should disappear with the promise of return. So I have no apologies, really. Not for what happened to me last night but I have apologies for any hurt feelings, any stepped on egos. I apologies for any biases and prejudice that may have occurred. I apologise for bad writing and indulgent writing from this entry all the way to the beginning.

But now you know my fuel and you know my destination. It is Bliss. It will come and go. I will hound it and I will find it again. And I will lose again so that I can begin the search once more. It will be written. Here and in other forms that I am allowed to present. I'm the Rocketman. And this is my journey.