The Flight of the Rocketman

"March around/ Jericho loved the music and fell/ Into your arms breathless/ Heard a sound/ Shut my eyes so tight/ Heard the whisper of a storm coming/ Oh funny how/ I spent this time waiting around/ It's a lie/ Everything you felt until now." - Jericho by Tara MacLean

Mauro Picotto was here and I was at Whereelse dancing from 11 in the evening to 5 in the morning. I was just dancing to his music. I was just one with an ecstatic crowd. It didn't matter who I was. I was there. And I had so much fun.

Yes, the Rocketman has touched Sirius, the brightest star in the night's sky. I've touched it and borrowed its brilliance for the whole night. I fly at a leisurely pace back home towards Earth with a smile in my face and a happy heart.

It has been a long time now since I've done anything normal since Wednesday night. I work and then go out and get home by sunrise; to sleep the whole day and wake up in the evening. There is just so fundamentally wrong about that. This has been since Wednesday night all the way now. Thank God I have the strength and the capacity to stay awake. And I will stay awake until later tonight where I plan to drop dead out of exhaustion and sleep at moonrise and wake up at dawn. As people should and do.

I think I kinda pushed this whole "freelancer" thing too far this week and I should try to replace this wild (albeit fun) lifestyle with one that is more deserving of respect or admiration. Afterall, how many people out there truly admires a hedonist. Well, I do. But that's not the point. Are there any true hedonists left in this world? People who just give in to their desires and just free themselves of any moral or social responsibility and do whatever it is that they want to do at that moment? Do these kinds of people still exist? I just finished reading The Athenian Murders and it's pretty good. I mean, it's a badly written book but it had to be to prove its point, which it does very well. I'm just wondering if there was a literary failure on the author's part and he could have tried to make it better somehow. But it was still an interesting read. All the self-referential details of the book was overwhelming and brought me all the way back to Literary Criticism with Dr. Luisa Aguilar-Carino-Igloria. All of a sudden, I was just thrilled to read something that my literary training can actually, truly help me with.

It is here where I come across the thoughts of true hedonism because there are significant portions in the book about hedonism and hedonists. And yes, I do want to live my life as one, except my idealism as a person always stops me from making that first step. Essentially, deep down inside, I am still a good boy. I cannot forego these principles that I hold dear just to run after the things which I desire the most. But I try... Don't think that I don't.

But the Hedonist must be put to rest and I must take reins of my life again and make some money to pay for another week of such wanton debauchery. Well, that's too much of a hyperbole, I think. There was nothing very evil or debauched (if there is such a word) in what we did. It was just, to the eyes of many, very wasteful and extravagant and useless... But it wasn't. I met a lot of new people. And these added contacts allows me a more stable position in the social cycle. After all, I'm a racketeer; a media whore. My job comes from anybody connected to any form of media. I write, host, sometimes I act, now I'm producing and I can really do anything that involves the media - print, tv, film, theatre, etc. And the more my name goes around and the more people know who I am, the better chances of getting referred to work. It's the life of a freelancer. It's all about who you know.

"All the rest has left/ This burden on my chest/ Can you see the air is angry/ Collapsing into nothing/ The soul has risen/ But never has forgiven/ So we stay and starve the heart to make a living." - Passenger, performed by Tara MacLean, written by Tara MacLean and Bill Bell